04/06/2013

沉醉於名利的女人

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  • Mei Ling

    Mei Ling

    廖吳美玲Mei Ling,做為電視真人騷《盛女愛作戰》幕後顧問一夜爆紅,因其經驗豐富,點評中肯直接,且手握優質筍盤無數,被譽為鑽石媒人,備受好評。其創立的香港婚姻介紹所Hong Kong Matchmakers。

    Mei Ling曾於紐約婚姻介紹學院就讀,成為美、德註冊婚配師,創立香港婚姻介紹所,有別於其他婚介所,Mei Ling所設門檻很高,專為香港單身高學歷人士作婚姻配對,創辦16年,成功撮合的高層男女不下數百對。

    Mei Ling曾於世界頂級大企業任要職,包括貿發局法蘭克福貿易顧問等。曾獲歐盟市場開拓及業務發展比賽冠軍,成為首位女性及華人獲得此殊榮。亦曾創立自己的時裝生意,在高峰時賣盤。

    著有《How to Find A Husband》。 Man Manual, Navigating Relationships

    鑽石媒人Mei Ling

Tina的故事

 

  Tina美絕全城,嫁給一個非常富有的男人。她有多重身份,除了是「某太」,也是慈善家、名媛。她還是婦女協會主席、著名企業集團的董事和慈善機構的負責人,因此常有高級派對邀請她出席,令她應接不暇。Tina常與富豪名人打交道,高高在上,她把所有東西視為理所當然。

 

  有一天,Tina的老公和她「攤牌」,坦承自己有外遇,由於他們結婚前已清楚列明婚前協定條款,所以很快就辦妥離婚手續。不到2個月,她由高處跌進深淵。不到6個月,她的位置已被新歡取代,記者們只會追隨這位新任太太。自始,Tina的電話再沒響過、沒有人邀請她參加派對,她的生活模式可謂翻天覆地的改變。雖然Tina不是窮途末路,但她的自信心受到嚴重打擊,自尊心更是受挫,她已習慣了當「名人」的滋味,現在不知道如何以「普通人」的身份過生活。

 

Jenny的故事

 

  Jenny是一位廣告主任,兒子出世後,她仍繼續工作。由於工時長,又找不到好的家傭,她決定辭職,在未來兩年做全職媽媽,全家人都為Jenny的決定感到高興。但Jenny是不會滿足做全職媽媽的,她兼職為護膚品和健康食品作市場宣傳工作,工作時間彈性之餘,又不會影響她的家庭生活。

 

  當這份兼職愈做愈好,Jenny的想法開始轉變。工作不單為錢,「成功」的誘惑更大,這份工作令她有成就感和滿足感,更找到了她所欠缺的認同感。產品銷量愈好,她的野心便愈大。其後Jenny工作時間愈來愈長,比在廣告界打拼的日子,有過之而無不及。最終,在兒子6歲時她和老公離婚,法官判前夫得到兒子的撫養權。

 

Maria的故事

 

  Maria畢業於美國哈佛大學,其後當上私人銀行家。經過幾次擢升後,Maria已是一間亞洲大銀行的董事總經理。有名有利後,她想到要有老公和美滿家庭。於是,Maria找了不少婚姻介紹所幫手,最後都空手而回。她找我們,因遭到婉拒而失望。

 

  為何我們會拒絕幫她?因為從多年經驗所得,這些女人沉醉於榮耀中,更被自己的成功所累。她們多是囂張、滿腦子只有自己、為自己卡片上的名銜感到自滿驕傲。

 

  沉醉於名利的女人,不懂以真性情待人,更不懂培養正確健康的心態和欣賞他人。她們只顧自己想要的,並沒有想過自己能付出甚麼。這些人不懂工作的定義,反被工作定義她們。由於她們的生活已被名利蠶食,所以沒有男人能融入她們的生活中。事實上,也沒有男人會想要這樣的女人。

 

  以上3個故事說明同一道理,就是驕傲自滿的個性,會令人忘了生命中最重要的人和事。Tina只顧當名媛太太,忘了做好老婆的責任。Jenny只顧事業的成功,忘了做好媽媽的責任。Maria為事業拼搏鋪路,忘了自己原先的模樣。

 

  權力使人腐化,極權使人更腐化。女人們,如果你是一個抱負極高、有野心的人,不要再抱怨,開始認真地審視你的生活吧!

 

  (按:中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本)

 

The High & Mighty

 

Story 1

 

  Tina was once a stunning beauty married to a seriously wealthy man. She was a Tai Tai, a philanthropist, a fixture in the circle of prominent socialites. Tina was the President of leading women’s associations, Board Member of prestigious conglomerates and Director of many charity organizations. Inundated by invitations to exclusive parties, she was forever rubbing shoulders with the rich and the famous. Every inch a princess, Tina was a madam superlative taking things for granted.

 

  One day, her husband told her he was in love with a younger woman. The terms of their pre-nuptial agreement were very clear, the divorce was quick and within 2 months, she had fallen off her perch. Within 6 months, she was completely replaced by her ex-husband’s new wife who has now become the new focus for the paparazzi. The phone stopped ringing, invitations stopped coming, her life style deteriorated drastically. Tina was by no means poor, but her self-confidence was dealt a severe blow and her ego was bruised. She had been so busy being a “somebody” she didn’t quite know how to live now as a “nobody”.

 

Story 2

 

  Jenny was working as an advertising executive when David was born. The hours were long and she had difficulty finding a good helper. She resigned to become a stay home mom for the next two years and the small family was blissfully happy. Being a mother was not enough for Jenny, she was looking for something to do and found an opportunity marketing beauty products and health food supplements. The hours were flexible and for a while, her part time work did not interfere with her family life.

 

  Business was good and Jenny’s perspectives began to change. It was not just the money, it was the allure of success which was so palatable it gave her a sense of accomplishment, the tangible recognition she had been missing, and the more she sold the more ambitious she became. Before long, her working hours were longer than those in her advertising days. David was six when the couple divorced, the judge awarded custody to the father.

 

Story 3

 

  Maria was a Harvard grad before becoming a private banker. Several promotions later, she became the Managing Director of one of the leading banks in Asia. She had fame and fortune and wanted a husband and a family, but half a dozen matchmakers and dating agencies later, she was left empty handed. She came to us and was amazed and disappointed by our rejection.

 

  We politely declined because we have learned from years of experience that such women tend to revel in their glory and foolishly become victims of their own success. They are arrogant, full of themselves, thoroughly intoxicated by their own name cards.

 

  So inebriated by the power of now they are too blind to discern the urgent imperative in developing genuine personalities or nurturing healthy core values for themselves, much less fostering the ability to appreciate those of others. They are more concerned about what they want, never once thinking what they can offer in return. They fail to define the scope of their working lives and instead, they let work define them. The consumption is total, there isn’t room for a man in the job equation nor would any man want to be there.

 

  All three stories point to the same problem: The high and mighty have immense problems setting the right priorities. Tina was too busy being a Tai Tai and a socialite she forgot to be a wife. Jenny was too busy being a successful entrepreneur she forgot to be a mother. Maria was so busy building her career she forgot to be herself.

 

  Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. Ladies, if you are a highflyer, stop patting yourself on the shoulder and start taking a serious look at your life.

 

 

 《經濟通》所刊的署名及/或不署名文章,相關內容屬作者個人意見,並不代表《經濟通》立場,《經濟通》所扮演的角色是提供一個自由言論平台。

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