在香港，不少男女都對年齡數字超級敏感，我們都害怕變老，而無論真假也好，我們堅決認為自己的外表比實際年青，更認為自己變老是理所當然，但對他人就十分苛求！我們對「變老」的看法非常愚蠢，且固執地歧視及排斥所有年齡數字較高的人士。

　　因為以上種種原因，我們在「相睇」時，不會透露對方的實際年齡，只表示該人是30歲、40歲、50歲或以上，這樣做不是不誠實，更沒有叫任何人說謊，只是覺得在「相睇」之前便公然透露年齡，對任何人都沒有好處。在選擇另一半共度餘生時，除了「年齡」外，還有很多重要的擇偶條件，我們當然想盡最大努力，為大家找到適合的另一半。

　　有人問Paul McCartney，為甚麼世上那麼女人，偏偏要找只有一條腿的女人結婚？他如此回應：「我沒有刻意找，只是當我遇到她後，發覺她只有一條腿，而這對我來說不是甚麼大不了的事。」

　　我想說明的是，當建立了一段關係後，人們以為重要的東西，事實上不是那麼重要。

　　Malcolm Gladwell在《Blink》書中，記錄了心理學家對「相睇」所做的研究：相睇前，先問男士和女士，他們認為另一半需具備甚麼條件？通常會列出一大堆，例如「有誠意和成功」等條件，但當他們與6個不同性格的人見面後，最後選擇的，通常不是之前列明所喜歡的類型！舉個例子，當女方在「相睇」前，期望對方「有誠意和成功」，但最後她們竟然選擇了「親切友善」的人，這個結果也令她們自己很驚訝！

　　「相睇」一星期後，要這些男士女士在問卷上再列出擇偶條件，他們會列出新的條件，例如「親切友善」而非「有誠意和成功」。再過多一個月，待他們漸漸忘記「相睇」的事後，此時又會寫下「有誠意和成功」，而非「親切友善」！

　　以上結果顯示，當人們口說喜歡或重視某人/事，但最後卻會選擇其他，這不是「口是心非」，只是人們沒有留意甚麼東西真正令自己快樂。當要你列出擇偶條件，人往往會「意識」先行，寫下認為對方應有的條件；而當你真正與對方見面後，是以「心」和「潛意識」為主導，根據吸引到自己的條件和喜好擇偶。

　　當你到40歲時，不要認為一定要在「相睇」時暴露自己的真實年齡，其實你提及自己的年齡與否，並不是那麼重要。我們不是叫人說謊，只是可有所保留，在交往幾個月才向對方透露自己的真實年齡。

　　（按：中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本）

Do Not Talk About Your Age

　　Hong Kong men and women are super age-sensitive. We are afraid of ageing. We are all adamantly convinced that we look much younger than our age regardless whether it is true or false. We think it is perfectly alright for us to be growing older but it is totally unacceptable for other people to be growing older. We are so utterly stupid about this “age thing” we tend to discriminate against anybody and everybody marked by a higher number.

　　Precisely for this reason, we do not disclose a client’s exact age. We would usually refer to him or her as 30+, 40+ or 50+…We're not being dishonest, and we are not asking anybody to lie about his/her age, we just do not think it is to anybody’s advantage to advertise their age so blatantly even before they have a chance to meet. In selecting a life partner, there are many other criteria far more important than “age”, we just want to maximize their opportunities as well as their perspectives.

　　Asked why he chose to marry a woman with one leg when he could have any woman in the world, Paul McCartney replied " I didn't go out there specifically looking for a woman with one leg, but when I found out she only had one leg, it didn't seem to matter anymore..."

　　Lesson to be learned here is that once a relationship has been established, what people thought would seriously matter to them, in fact didn’t matter at all.

　　In Malcolm Gladwell's book 'Blink' he wrote about research work done by psychologists on speed-dating: When men and women were asked what they valued most in a potential partner, they would write a list of criteria that would be most important to them, example: “sincere and successful”. But after they had gone on the speed-dating round and met with 6 individuals and chose one they liked most, the person they chose was NOT the type they said they would like ! (Example: they had chosen the "warm and funny" one and not the "sincere and successful" guy they said they preferred. The participants were equally surprised themselves.

　　Now one week after that date, they were once again, given the same questionnaire. This time they would write the NEW characteristics e.g. "warm and funny" instead of "sincere and successful") . Then months later, after they had forgotten about this date, they were given the same questionnaire again. This time, the participants would go right back to writing "sincere and successful" again !

　　The above results show that while people say they like or value one thing, in reality they end up choosing something else. They are not lying about their preferences, but simply unaware of what really makes them happy. When they put down their own criteria, it is the mind that is at work, it is a “conscious” selection. They pick characteristics that they think they should have that would commensurate with the person they think they are. However, during an actual date encounter, it's their heart that chooses, it is a “subconscious” selection, they pick characteristics that appeal to their senses and feelings.

　　Once you are over 40, do not feel obligated to reveal your exact age on the first date. If you don’t hit it off, it doesn’t matter anyway. If you do, it’s going to matter even less. We are not telling anybody to lie or hide, just hold back a little, you can reveal your age later, say a couple of months into a relationship.