05/03/2013

你囂張嗎?

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  • Mei Ling

    Mei Ling

    廖吳美玲Mei Ling,做為電視真人騷《盛女愛作戰》幕後顧問一夜爆紅,因其經驗豐富,點評中肯直接,且手握優質筍盤無數,被譽為鑽石媒人,備受好評。其創立的香港婚姻介紹所Hong Kong Matchmakers。

    Mei Ling曾於紐約婚姻介紹學院就讀,成為美、德註冊婚配師,創立香港婚姻介紹所,有別於其他婚介所,Mei Ling所設門檻很高,專為香港單身高學歷人士作婚姻配對,創辦16年,成功撮合的高層男女不下數百對。

    Mei Ling曾於世界頂級大企業任要職,包括貿發局法蘭克福貿易顧問等。曾獲歐盟市場開拓及業務發展比賽冠軍,成為首位女性及華人獲得此殊榮。亦曾創立自己的時裝生意,在高峰時賣盤。

    著有《How to Find A Husband》。 Man Manual, Navigating Relationships

    鑽石媒人Mei Ling

  當問及「你覺得自己囂張嗎?」,十有八九都會否認。但事實上,大部分香港人都非常囂張,這是香港社會非常惱人的群眾心態,我們不得不著手解決。

 

  香港的土地面積只有1104平方公里,人口卻超過700萬。這個細小而充滿活力和奇蹟的城市,許多方面都達國際級水平。我們是世界上人均收入最高的地區,是世界第七大證券交易所、第八大外匯交易市場、擁有百萬富翁的比例更達全球第四,另外我們還有全球最佳機場和交通系統等等。更令人振奮的是,我們的生活質素、打擊貪污力度和人均壽命都是全球數一數二的。雖說我們有很多值得引以為傲的地方,但將幾代人共同努力的成果作為個人處事囂張的理由,是非常牽強甚至專橫的。

 

  在面試中,有些人準時到達,有些人不會;但有人遲到或缺席都懶得打電話通知面試官,這就是我所說的囂張態度。以往我們非常尊敬老人家和長輩,但現時有很多人都直稱長輩的名字,擲香蕉和說粗口。我們更是種族歧視的表表者,我們很少願意和印度人、巴基斯坦人或菲律賓人共事,這是因為我們自以為比這些人高一等。

 

  我們叫內地人「亞燦」,直至內地人用錢「撻」我們,我們囂張的態度才有所收斂。以往售貨員講日語招待日客,現在大部分轉操普通話招待內地客了。因為現時我們的經濟比西方國家強大,所以我們看不起的反而是西方人。很多人喜歡到泰國旅行,因為當地人多以笑容待人,令人有賓至如歸的感覺;反觀香港,我們的笑容取決於得到多少「貼士」。而從本地導遊命令旅客購物,學生公然駁嘴、侍應和售貨員以惡劣態度待客的事件中,可以看到我們的囂張氣焰就像糖漿般滲至生活各方面,其實囂張的態度會傳染的,而我們全都受到「感染」。

 

  不耐煩是囂張的表現,事實上不是對方膽大包天要你等,只是你沒有耐性而已。做人不包容也是囂張的表現,囂張的人總會反駁說:「我比對方高人一等,為何要容忍他們?!」愛批評也是囂張的表現,這些人無論對該範疇有否專業知識也好,也會覺得自己一定比別人做得更好。喜怒無常也屬囂張表現,有「你敢不按照我的指示做事嗎?」的意味。粗魯無禮更是極其囂張跋扈,認為自己位高權重,不用在乎對方的感受,對方只可以苦笑默默忍受......

 

  葉劉淑儀和老公是在雙方菲傭撮合下成事,雖說要歸功於這兩位菲傭,但也要葉生和葉太有謙恭的心才行。比著其他人,可能會想:「我是一位高官,每天與不少達官貴人會面,我為甚麼要委屈自己,要傭人介紹男人/女人給我?」如果有這想法,大好姻緣就此溜走。所以具謙卑態度的人總是有優勢,大家可從這個故事得到印證。

 

  囂張跋扈、自覺高人一等的人,經常有「我比你更好!」的想法。無論有甚麼理由藉口也好,這些想法和行為只會將你和別人的距離愈拉愈遠。事實上,無論你多棒,世上總有人比你更好、更漂亮、更聰明、更有錢和更成功。如果你想成功找到另一半長相廝守,就要確保自己不要看起來、聽起來和令人感到你囂張跋扈才可。

 

  (按:中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本)

 

Are You Arrogant?

 

  When asked if they are arrogant, 9 out of 10 clients would say they are not. The truth is, Hong Kong people are mostly very arrogant, it’s a collective social mentality which is debilitating, a serious problem we have to apprehend to address.

 

  With a population of 7 million people living on 1,104 km2, this tiny, vibrant, miracle city enjoys high international rankings in many disciplines. We have the world’s highest per capita incomes, the 7th largest Stock Exchange, the 8th most traded currency, the 4th highest percentage of millionaire households, the best airport, the best public transport system,…Amazingly, also the best quality of life, Corruption Perception, and the Longest Life Expectancy…Yes, we do have a lot to be proud of, but to purloin the communal achievements of generations and use them to justify personal arrogance is farfetched and presumptuous.

 

  At job interviews nowadays, some candidates will come on time, some don’t, others without even bothering to call, may not show up at all, that’s arrogance. We used to be respectful to elders and superiors, now we call them names, throw bananas and yell profanities, that’s arrogance. We are supreme masters of racial discrimination - we seldom mix with Indians, Pakistanis, or Filipinas on a social level because we are “superior”.

 

  We called Mainlanders “ Ah Charn” until they started inundating us with money, then sales people instantly switch from Japanese to Putonghua. We even look down on Caucasians nowadays because our economy is stronger than theirs. Many people enjoy holidaying in Thailand because they serve with smiles. Here, the intensity of our smiles shall depend on the size of the tips. We have tour guides ordering tourists to go shopping, students talking back righteously, waiters and sales staff with bad attitude… Arrogance seeps through like molasses everywhere, it is contagious and it is infecting us all.

 

  “Being Impatient” is arrogant, it is not so much the waiting itself as the fact that someone dares to keep you waiting that annoys you. “Being Intolerant” is arrogant, you are saying that being superior, you don’t have to put up with that and therefore you won’t. “Being Critical” is arrogant, you are thinking out loud that you could have done better regardless whether or not you have the expertise. “Being Temperamental” is arrogant, it means “how dare you not obey my orders or do things to please me? ”. “Being Rude” is supremely arrogant as it means I don’t give a toss about giving you face because I am sufficiently important so you’ll just have to grin and bear me.…

 

  Regina Yip met her husband through her domestic helper and his, the two Filipinas arranged for their master and madam to meet. While credit must be given to the helpers, it is both employers’ exceptional humility that made the union possible. “ I am a high ranking official, I rub elbows with the rich and famous everyday, would I need to prostrate myself to an introduction from a lowly domestic helper??!! ” One single atom of arrogance would have killed that opportunity, modesty thankfully prevailed - here a lesson to be learned.

 

  Arrogance is fundamentally a one-upmanship, a grossly inflated idea of oneself, i.e.” I am better than you!” Whatever the excuse, it is an offensive quality that pushes people away instead of drawing them closer. The truth is, no matter how great you are, there is always someone who is more beautiful, cleverer, richer, better and more successful than you are. If you are looking for a life partner, be sure you do not look, sound or smell remotely of arrogance.

 

 

 《經濟通》所刊的署名及/或不署名文章,相關內容屬作者個人意見,並不代表《經濟通》立場,《經濟通》所扮演的角色是提供一個自由言論平台。

《說說心理話》身體唔舒服查唔到原因?周身痠痛疲累?可能係患有心身症!點解原生家庭會長時間影響一個人?點樣脫離循環?► 即睇

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