06/10/2022

李怡離世了，《失敗者回憶錄》雖未完成，但他留下的，足矣

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Helena Hau
Helena Hau
若能以直白的言語，偶爾夾雜著現代式的文縐縐，再添點靈光一閃，寫一個大家都聽得懂的故事，便好。
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Text: Helena Hau

#1 寫作是生命的需要

　　帕慕克在《別樣的色彩》一書講自己的閱讀文學作品，說「為了讓自己快樂，我必須每天攝取文學，無異於病人必須每天服用一匙藥。」寫作呢？「寫作是一種慰藉，甚至是一種療癒。」在寫作不順利又無法沉浸書中的日子是什麼感覺？他說，「首先，我眼前的世界會起變化，會變得難以忍受、面目可憎。了解我的人就能看出這種變化，因為我自己也會變得和周圍所見的世界一樣。例如，晚上見到我一臉悲慘絕望，女兒就會知道我那天寫作不順利。」

　　三島由紀夫怎麼形容自己的寫作呢？他在《小說家的休日時光》中說：「對我來說，寫作並不是一種使命，而是讓我得以活下去的首要與必要條件，寫作對我而言，就像是一個人正常的呼吸，以至於我的其他活動，譬如喘氣或者是打噴嚏，都只能算是不正常的呼吸。」

　　日本作家三島由紀夫（Yukio Mishima）生於1925，死於1970。是日本非常優秀的小說家、劇作家、評論家，他同時也是電影導演、演員和活躍的社交名人。重要著作包括《假面的告白》、《金閣寺》、《潮騷》、《太陽與鐵》等，曾三度獲得諾貝爾文學獎提名，也是二戰後西方譯介最多的日本作家之一。1970年11月25日，為推崇武士道精神，抗議日本西化，發表演說後切腹自決，震驚各界。

　　寫作，對於一個真正的寫作人來說，是「療癒」，是「活下去的首要和必要條件」。對此，我也有經驗。許多人都說，老年喪偶，對活著的另一半來說，是一道難跨過去的人生門檻。七年多前我經歷過，當時真想追隨她而去，能把我留住的是我的寫作。因此，寫作帶給我的，是生命的延續。

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