08/05/2012

他們不是我想要的男人!

  • Mei Ling

    Mei Ling

    廖吳美玲Mei Ling,做為電視真人騷《盛女愛作戰》幕後顧問一夜爆紅,因其經驗豐富,點評中肯直接,且手握優質筍盤無數,被譽為鑽石媒人,備受好評。其創立的香港婚姻介紹所Hong Kong Matchmakers。

    Mei Ling曾於紐約婚姻介紹學院就讀,成為美、德註冊婚配師,創立香港婚姻介紹所,有別於其他婚介所,Mei Ling所設門檻很高,專為香港單身高學歷人士作婚姻配對,創辦16年,成功撮合的高層男女不下數百對。

    Mei Ling曾於世界頂級大企業任要職,包括貿發局法蘭克福貿易顧問等。曾獲歐盟市場開拓及業務發展比賽冠軍,成為首位女性及華人獲得此殊榮。亦曾創立自己的時裝生意,在高峰時賣盤。

    著有《How to Find A Husband》。 Man Manual, Navigating Relationships

    鑽石媒人Mei Ling

  CK是一個成熟穩重的男士,收入穩定,在一所大學教書多年。Wolfgang是一間直升機公司的老闆,而Jason是一個擁有博士學位的水電工程師。別人問我為甚麼介紹他們給Florence認識,我說:「因為這幾位男士性格溫厚、有正確的價值觀、為人真誠、對家庭負責,這些都是好老公應有的條件。」

 

  而Florence一一拒絕他們,因為:「他們不是我想要的男人!」

 

  我問她到底想要甚麼樣的男人,她說想找個具吸引力、風趣幽默、可以令她有熱戀的感覺的人……在《盛女愛作戰》中,她一直堅持自己有權追逐自己的夢想,她這樣做有錯嗎?

 

  我認為一個人最基本的處世之道是言行舉止與年齡相符。例如一個80歲的爺爺用10分鐘行一段樓梯,我們會讚他了不起,但一個18歲的年輕人用10分鐘才行完,我們會問他為甚麼這麼久?

 

  16歲時,你會看愛情故事,會對「白馬王子」式的愛情幻想,覺得很浪漫。但年過40,更年期已離你不遠,如果再對「白馬王子」式的浪漫愛情有幻想,就是天真和不切實際。時間不等人,假若想組建一個美好家庭,一定要理智和實際一點,對自己的所作所為負責。

 

迷戀與真愛

 

  如果有一位穿Armani西裝、駕Maserati跑車、有型又風趣幽默的男人令你有觸電的感覺,那純粹是迷戀,不是真愛,因為你一點都不了解這個人,又怎能愛他呢?這些型男當然是一個好男友的條件,既有新鮮感,又可滿足女人的虛榮感,假若某天他俊朗的外表和風趣幽默的性格消失了,你還可得到甚麼?

 

  真愛是建立在友誼、信任和對彼此的尊重上,要用心經營,要用時間努力維繫,才能開花結果。在香港,所有新僱員都有3個月試用期,令我困惑的是, Florence這類女性,為何只望了對方一眼,便說無feel,斷定那個人不適合自己?

 

  盛女們,當妳們找尋另一半之前,先問問自己:是想找可給你迷戀感覺的男友,還是有真愛、可付託終生的老公?

 

  (按:中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本)

 

Following One’s Dream…?

 

  CK has been teaching at the same university since many years, a stable man with a stable job. Wolfgang is the owner of a helicopter company, & Jason is a Ph.D hydro engineer. When asked why I choose them for Florence? I explained: ''They are good natured fellows with all the right core values; genuine & responsible family type, what I would consider good husband material.''

 

  Florence rejected them all because ''… that is not what I want!''  So what does she want then? She said she prefers someone who is more attractive, charming & witty, someone who can ignite her flame, sweep her off her feet, and give her that fuzzy warm feeling inside…For weeks she adamantly insists she has the right to pursue her dream!  Is she wrong? 

 

  Yes, I think she is.

 

  The fundamental rule of being a successful human being is to be age-appropriate with our word and deed. When 80 year old grandpa climbs up a flight of stairs in 10 minutes, we say he is doing well. When an 18 years old boy does that, we ask ''what took you so long?" When a 2 year old mispronounces words repeatedly, we say she is cute & we laugh. When a 20 year old does that, it’s called speech impediment.

 

  When we are sixteen, we have our whole lives ahead of us, we read love stories, we giggle about boys, we fantasize about 「prince charming」, it’s so romantic, and yes, we follow our dreams…

 

  When we are forty, we have menopause ahead of us, what was once sweet & romantic now becomes naive and unrealistic. What was once "pursuing a dream" now becomes "chasing rainbows."  Time is no longer on our side, if we still want to build a family, we have to be sensible, pragmatic and act responsibly.

 

There is infatuation and there is love.

 

  If that witty, gorgeous hunk in the Armani suit driving a Maserati is sending electrical current throughout your entire body and melting every organ you think you have, that is infatuation in the purest form. It cannot be "true love" because you don’t know enough about him to love! This is "boyfriend material", because he satisfies our vanity, sense of adventure…and our passion. But being charming, witty, handsome are all perishable ingredients. If that’s all he’s got, what happens when the frenzy subsides?

 

  True love is a sentiment one needs to cultivate, best on the foundation of friendship, trust and respect. Until this relationship blossoms requires the nurturing of time and effort. Any new employee in HK is entitled to 3 months’ probation, so I am baffled how people like Florence can reject someone instantaneously, based on "one look" and her intuitive judgment of having "no chemistry", "no feel"… "no electrical current "!

 

  Ladies, if you are looking for a man in your life, ask yourself first whether you are seeking infatuation from a "boyfriend" or true love from a "husband" and then act accordingly.

 

 

 《經濟通》所刊的署名及/或不署名文章,相關內容屬作者個人意見,並不代表《經濟通》立場,《經濟通》所扮演的角色是提供一個自由言論平台。

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    發表於 2012-5-10 09:42 AM
  • 多謝讀者們關注Mei Ling的新專欄!

    對於讀者指出的問題已進行修正,也歡迎大家多多交流討論,分享對現代男女婚姻觀及相處之道的看法。
    發表於 2012-5-10 09:42 AM
  • 多謝讀者們關注Mei Ling的新專欄!

    對於讀者指出的問題已進行修正,也歡迎大家多多交流討論,分享對現代男女婚姻觀及相處之道的看法。

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  • 大包整多兩籠發表於 2012-6-8 10:25 PM
  • #30
  • 30歲前我會找個迷戀感覺的男友,30歲後要找個有真愛,可付託終生老公.

    .
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  • cindyk發表於 2012-5-25 04:33 PM
  • #28
  • 讀者們都愛你既專欄, 加油! 我覺得有真愛、可付託終生的老公一般都較悶蛋, 花沸的男人可以談情 dance 但不會做人老公
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  • ANGELAKW發表於 2012-5-11 10:34 AM
  • #27
  • 不單是愛情的心得,更是做人態度.
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  • RainbowL發表於 2012-5-11 09:24 AM
  • #26
  • 期待看mei ling既文章, 每次必有精句, 一語道破兩性相處之道! very good! 各位讀者都好用心咁睇你既專欄, 加油!
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  • 周琦(作者)發表於 2012-5-11 12:30 AM
  • #25
  • 哇哈,這麼多回應!
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  • SYKILKID發表於 2012-5-10 04:44 PM
  • #24
  • btw, thank you for your revised version

  • 引用 #16 ylc1106 發表於 2012-5-9 10:36 PM

    Yes, I think she is wrong.   The fundamental rule of being a successful human being is to be age- ...
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  • SYKILKID發表於 2012-5-10 04:42 PM
  • #23
  • 真是「緣」, 本無心讀此文, 偶見讀者讚之, 乃看看, 見文中用中式標點, 及首句犯了基本文法錯誤, 遂留言. 不料引來另一讀者作更大修改, 編輯也改回了英文標點, 真有趣.

    我同意Shulin之意見, 這不是一篇教英文的文章. 但或許編輯應 proofread 基本的標點和文法錯誤. (如 since 和 for 的分別, 應是高小程度的基本文法知識)

  • 引用 #15 ylc1106 發表於 2012-5-9 09:52 PM

    My edits to make it more readable: CK is a down-to-earth man with a stable job; teaching at a unive ...
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  • 沒話說發表於 2012-5-10 10:13 AM
  • #22
  • Mei Ling真係好鬼正!!!
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  • 經濟通版主發表於 2012-5-10 09:42 AM
  • #21
  • 多謝讀者們關注Mei Ling的新專欄!

    對於讀者指出的問題已進行修正,也歡迎大家多多交流討論,分享對現代男女婚姻觀及相處之道的看法。
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  • ylc1106發表於 2012-5-9 11:46 PM
  • #20
  • 發表的文章應該有一定的水準。這不是她的錯。只是需要人來 proofread。
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  • Shulin發表於 2012-5-9 11:00 PM
  • #19
  • Give her a break,the article is not meant to be teaching English!Can we just treat it as informal sharing?

  • 引用 #15 ylc1106 發表於 2012-5-9 09:52 PM

    My edits to make it more readable: CK is a down-to-earth man with a stable job; teaching at a unive ...
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  • spring972發表於 2012-5-9 10:56 PM
  • #18
  • 回覆 #8 andywu


    "任何年纪的女人都有不切實際的幻想"我覺得你咁講唔合理,因為會有幻燈既唔只女人,男人也會有不切實際的幻想,與性別冇關吧
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  • ylc1106發表於 2012-5-9 10:43 PM
  • #17
  • If that witty, gorgeous hunk who wears a Armani suit and drives a Maserati is sending electrical current throughout your entire body and melting every one of your organs, that is infatuation in the purest form. It cannot be "true love" because you don’t even know him to love him! This is only "boyfriend material" because he satisfies your vanity, sense of adventure…and your passion. But charming, witty and handsome are all perishable ingredients. If that’s all he’s got, what happens when the frenzy subsides?



      True love is a sentiment one needs to cultivate, best on the foundation of friendship, trust and respect. Until this relationship blossoms requires the nurturing of time and effort. Any new employee in HK is entitled to 3 months’ probation, so I am baffled how people like Florence can reject someone instantaneously, based on 「one look」 and her intuitive judgment of having 「no chemistry」, 「no feel」… 「no electrical current 」!
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  • ylc1106發表於 2012-5-9 10:36 PM
  • #16
  • Yes, I think she is wrong.  

    The fundamental rule of being a successful human being is to be age-appropriate with our word and deed. When a 80 years old grandpa climbs up a flight of stairs in 10 minutes, we say he is doing well. When a 18 years old boy does that, we ask "what took you so long?" When a 2 year old mispronounces words repeatedly, we say he is cute and we laugh. When a 20 years old does that, it’s called speech impediment.

    When we were sixteen, we had our whole lives ahead of us. We read love stories, giggled about boys, and fantasized about "prince charming". It’s so romantic, and yes, we followed our dreams.

    When we are forty, the only thing we have ahead of us is menopause. What was once sweet and romantic now becomes naive and unrealistic. What was once "pursuing a dream" now becomes "chasing rainbows." Time is no longer on our side. If we still want to build a family, we have to be sensible and pragmatic, and we have to act responsibly.




     
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  • ylc1106發表於 2012-5-9 09:52 PM
  • #15
  • My edits to make it more readable:

    CK is a down-to-earth man with a stable job; teaching at a university for many years. Wolfgang is the owner of a helicopter company and Jason is a hydro engineer with a Ph.D degree. When asked why I chose them for Florence? I explained: "They are genuine fellows with good core values. I consider them to be good husbands and family men".

    Florence rejected them all because "… that is not what I wanted!" What does Florence want then? She said she wanted someone who is attractive, charming and witty. Someone who can ignite her flame and sweep her off her feet. Someone who can give her that fuzzy warm feeling. For weeks she adamantly insisted she has the right to pursue her Mr. Right! Is she wrong?
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  • ylc1106發表於 2012-5-9 09:17 PM
  • #14
  • 我認為一個人最基本的處世之道是言行舉止與年齡相符。

    我也覺得這句話很好。不單要與年齡相符,也要與你的角色相符。如果你是一個母親,你的行為應該似一個母親,而不是似一個無知少女。現在的人,通常有一個問題,就是失去了自己的角色和責任。
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  • SYKILKID發表於 2012-5-9 07:47 PM
  • #13
  • 第一句英文應該是錯:

    CK has been teaching at the same university SINCE many years ....

    應該係 FOR many years, 或者 SINCE (ten years ago)
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  • SYKILKID發表於 2012-5-9 07:38 PM
  • #12
  • Well, it's really interesting that Chinese quotation marks (「」) have been used. That seems to be the editor's problem, though.

  • 引用 #10 Guardian 發表於 2012-5-9 04:58 PM

    BTW, the writer has excellent English standard. It's enjoyable reading your English article (althoug ...
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  • SYKILKID發表於 2012-5-9 07:33 PM
  • #11
  • 人有幻想都唔係唔可以嘅, 如果唔係咪變左睇電影都唔得? 最緊要係發完夢、笑完、咸完之後, 識得返回現實做個真真正正既人. 唔好睇完復仇者聯盟後以為自己係美國隊長; 睇完盛女愛作戰之後以為45度角可以搵到食....

  • 引用 #8 andywu 發表於 2012-5-9 02:04 PM

     我認為一個人最基本的處世之道是言行舉止與年齡相符。例如一個80歲的爺爺用10分鐘行一段樓梯,我們會讚他 ...
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