女人很多方面的表現都較男性精明，但在選擇男伴上除外。大部分男人能清晰辨出女友與老婆之別，女人卻對此毫無頭緒。女人的想法較理想化，難以分辨男友跟老公的角色，有人會誤辨兩者，有人把兩者混二為一。香港女性傾向較易受以下幾種男人影響。

 

偽裝的惡魔

 

　　這種男人散發性感、挑起慾望的魅力。他們在適當的時候說話，打扮與談吐無可挑剔，接你時駕著開蓬跑車，親你時輕吻兩頰，為你開門，又為你的麵包塗牛油。一些健碩型男是接吻高手，俊美絕倫，溫暖的雙手及腹肌教人神魂顛倒。他們既自我中心，又是浪漫的捕獵者，熟練的展現男性魅力，不費吹灰之力就能捕獲美麗又成功的女人，到手後才狠狠甩掉她們。他們的格言非常簡單：「在愛情與戰事中，所有事物都是公平的」。他們是流氓，不過無賴有著誘人的魅力。要考慮這種男人，純粹只可作男友，亦只能在你未跨過30歲的大門之前。

 

已婚男

 

　　這類男人非常的傲慢不羈、帶著色瞇瞇的眼光、話語裏盡是嘲諷。最初令人害怕卻步，私下卻奉承討好，教你最後倒在他的掌心。他的臂彎有能力把你溶化，其他男人與他站在一起只是羣小男孩。這個跟你上床的男人口裏說著不愛他的妻子，最愛是你。你以為終有一天，他會為你拋棄妻子，並永遠屬於你，但他不能這樣做，因為妻子太脆弱，仁慈的他不忍心傷害，還要顧及他的孩子、與妻子的共同財產、家庭、小狗……情況非常複雜。對，情況永遠都是複雜的。這種男人對於活於苦悶世界的寂寞女人是種色彩斑斕的解葯，又是純淨無雜的毒葯。任何年紀的女人都不應沾上。

 

不會結婚的男人

 

　　有些男人永遠不應該與女人結婚。第一種是男同性戀者、跨性別者，或是任何認定男女關係的建立只是為了家庭、專業、社會、政途或別有其他用心的男人。另一種是對女人情根深種的男人，因為多情，一個女人永遠不夠。這些男人有強迫自己周旋於女人之中的天性，他們不能自控地於同一時間分身與不同女人開展關係，又不斷地以語言「偽」術掩飾行蹤。

 

　　在三種男人之中，不會結婚的男人最危險。他們看似是丈夫的人選，但永遠不會當上丈夫，至少不為你當上。每次你嘗試為婚事啟齒，他不是避過話題，就是表現猶豫。曾有幾次你以為快要成功，豈料他拋下「婚姻不過是一張紙」，「現在已經過得很開心，怎麼不能這樣下去？」有時你以為跟他很接近，但一時又發現自己看他不透，就像奮力抓著一片虛雲。他待你好時，讓你嚐世上最甜的東西，相反，他會是個暴躁、情緒化的人。你對他的愛毫無疑問，只有承諾這點不足，又何必苦苦相迫？或許你要多一點耐性，給他更多時間。事實是你的這個決定可會是漫長的等待。記緊這類男人的格言是「韜光養晦」。

 

　　有些女人在愛情的狂喜下意亂情迷。結果她們淪落在糾纏、被拒絕、被傷害的循環，重複又重複地出現於她們的生命之中。愛一個上一課，這課教你聰明點，在愛情的旅程上不要全情投入致忘記終點。

 

　　（按：中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本）

 

The Wrong Men

 

　　Women are usually smarter than men in many other respects, except when it comes to mate searching. Whilst most men would instinctively know the distinction between a girlfriend and a wife, most women cannot tell the difference. Being more idealistic, many have difficulties trying to distinguish a boyfriend from a husband, some mistake one for the other and some search for a blend. Hong Kong women tend to be particularly susceptible in the following categories:

 

Devils in disguise

 

　　These guys make you feel sensual and desirable. They know when to say what, dress and speak
impecca¬bly, probably pick you up in a con¬vertible, kiss you on both cheeks, open doors and butter your bread. Some hunky-dory hunks are great kissers, drop-dead gorgeous, with warm hands and groins to die for, pushing all the right buttons… They are also self-centred and romantically rapacious guys who effortlessly insinuate themselves into associations with – and ruthlessly ditch – beautiful and successful women on a regular basis, out-manoeuvring their male rivals with practised ease. Their creed is simply: “ All is fair in love and war”. These are rogues, but charming with it. They are definitely boyfriend material – and only before you hit 30.

 

The married men

 

　　Then there are those who hit on you with sheer arrogant raffishness, all las¬civious leers and innuendos. Initially appalled, secretly flattered, you finally succumb. Melting you away in his arms, this man makes the others look like boys. The guy who wants to take you to bed doesn’t love his wife, he loves only you. Someday, he will divorce her and be yours forever – only he can’t do it just yet because she is vulnerable and he is kind, because of the children… the joint asset… the family, the dog… It’s complicated… Yes, it always is. These men may be a colourful antidote to a lonely woman’s otherwise dull world, they are also pure poison. You have no business get¬ting involved with a man like that, at any age.

 

The non-marrying men

 

　　There are men who should never be married to women. The first type of man to avoid is the homosexual, those of transgender, or any man who assumes a heterosexual relationship only for his family, profession, society, political career or other ulterior motive. Another type totally unsuitable for marriage is the man who loves women too much, so that one is never enough. These men are compulsive philander¬ers who have an irresistible urge to divide themselves among several lovers at any one time, perpetually lying through their teeth to cover their tracks.

 

　　The third type of non-marrying man is the most dangerous of all. They look like husband material, behave like husband material, but they aren’t true husband material, at least not for you. Every time you have tried to talk about marriage, he has either evaded the issue or vacillated. There were moments you thought you were almost there… then suddenly, marriage is but “…just a piece of paper!” “Why can’t we be happy with the way things are?” Sometimes you feel so close to him, but at other times you can’t seem to figure him out at all, it’s like trying to catch a cloud. When he is good, he is the sweetest thing in the world; when he is not, he can be grumpy and moody. You are so sure he loves you, but he just has this thing about commitment, so why push him? Maybe you should be a bit more patient, give him a bit more time until he is ready. The reality is that you could be in for a long wait. This type’s creed is: “Hide one’s capacity, bide one’s time.”

 

　　Some women become so diverted by the euphoria of being “in love” they start chasing toons. Then there are others  who keep on spinning in this “cling-rejected-hurt” cycle which repeats itself over and over again. A lesson to be learned is this: Wise up! Do not become so engrossed in the journey that you forget the destination !

 

 

 《經濟通》所刊的署名及／或不署名文章，相關內容屬作者個人意見，並不代表《經濟通》立場，《經濟通》所扮演的角色是提供一個自由言論平台。

• 

想要獨家投資理財Tips？即Like etnet 全新Facebook專頁► 立即讚好