通常被拋棄的一方，都會傷心、憤怒和失望。在遭受多次打擊後，更可能會感到沮喪和絕望，很多人因此放棄愛情，安慰自己單身沒甚麼不好。

 

　　請不要讓你墮入這些思緒之中，如果你不再邁出腳步，你便不會有收穫，最後單身孤獨到老。「1」是個孤單的數字，有人作伴是多麼好的一件事，你怎可能那麼輕易放棄？

 

　　如果想駕車、學鋼琴或在舞場上一展舞技，你都要花時間心機去學才可成事。想找到某個完美的經理級職位，你可能要透過無數獵頭公司、不斷修改履歷表、參加不同的面試，才可達到目標，所以找另一半都不要期望是件容易的事。

 

改進自己的方法

 

外表方面

 

　　很多人說：「身體髮膚，受諸父母，喜歡就接受我，接受不了便算。」這種態度極之錯！所謂:「世上沒有醜女人，只有懶女人！」五官平凡的可靠高貴衣著和打扮吸引異性，這比俗氣、不整潔但五官標緻的女人更具吸引力。

 

　　不論你的外表五官如何，你都要盡力打扮到最漂亮為止，不要再責怪你的父母了！

 

精神層面

 

　　好的外表當然可吸引異性，但都要和知識配合才可令關係長久。很多男人抱怨港女膚淺、只懂得某範疇的知識，又悶又無知。將你的嗜好興趣擴闊，令你的思維更卓越。大家不要只集中在時裝、美容、命理，要學習新技能，如擅長某項運動，培養和留意時事和國際新聞的興趣，令自己知識增長，散發獨有的魅力。

 

情感方面

 

　　工作與找老公應該不太相關，所以不要以工作銜頭作唯一身份。工作以外的事也可給予你不同的身份。

 

　　光是「忙碌」是沒有價值的，要「忙得有建設性」才有價值。嘗試做些有意義的好事，例如整理外婆的廚櫃。感恩會令你積極正面，感到充實的人通常比平常人更諒解和更愛支持他人，而不是愛倚賴或控制他人。有滿足感的人都是快活人，而快樂帶來更多正能量。

 

　　此時可能你會說：「講比做容易得多」，其實「只要有恆心，鐵柱可磨成針」！我以生活軼事舉例，說明堅持的力量。

 

　　我在進行單車健身期間，因為感到很疲倦而停下來。跟著我看到電視上播放殘奧賽事，頓時令我有動力繼續踏下去，不再抱怨。

 

　　羅琳在撰寫第一本《哈利波特》時，都是靠救濟金維持生活，當時有12家出版社拒絕為她出書，而最後Bloomsbury出版社買下她的著作，原來是想叫她找份日間工作維持生活，誰料《哈利波特》系列風靡全世界.......

 

　　自2012年開始，以色列在聯合國186個國家的人民生活發展指數中，排名16，即色列已被國際認可為「極高度發展」的國家之一，原因是他們的經濟及高科技發展極為先進！這是很鼓舞的事，因為以色列從未停戰，幾十年以來不斷被敵軍襲擊，到目前為止以色列被1700個導彈攻擊，雖然只是17個導彈著地，但無間斷的恐懼、緊張和焦慮一定令當地人民很痛苦。但以色列人仍能從戰火中抽時間，堅定不移而鎮靜地發展出類拔萃的經濟，歐洲人和美國人都望塵莫及！這就是堅持所帶來的力量。

 

　　其實很多事都是有可能的，你不嘗試才令「不可能」有機可乘，所以無論你怎樣也好，請別輕言放棄！

 

　　（按：中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本）

 

Please Don’t Give Up !

 

　　People who left broken relationships are mostly hurt, angry and disappointed. People who have not found relationships in spite of repeated attempts may feel frustrated and perhaps despair. Many would stop looking altogether, and start telling themselves that being single is not so bad after all.

 

　　Please do not allow yourself to slide down that spiral. If you do not seek, you will not find, therefore not finding someone becomes a self-fulfilled prophecy. One is a lonely number, there are so many merits in having a partner why would you give up so easily ? If you want to drive a car, play the piano or do ballroom dancing…you would have to invest the time, energy and effort to learn that skill. If you were to find the perfect manager for a specific position you would still have to go through countless headhunters, CVs and interviews…Why did you ever expect that finding a life partner would be easy?

 

　　Instead of giving up, try harder:

 

Physically

 

　　Many clients would say, “This is the face (body) my mother gave me, take it or leave it…” that is the wrong attitude. There are no “ugly women”, only “ lazy women”. A woman with plain features but elegantly dressed and well groomed is far more attractive to a wife seeking man than any tawdry, unkempt woman with beautiful features.

 

　　Regardless what kind of face or body you were born with, your mission is to make a continuous effort to look the best you can at all times, and stop blaming your mother.

 

Mentally

 

　　Physical attraction helps start a relationship, mental compatibility helps sustain it. Men often complain that Hong Kong women are shallow, educated only in their fields of expertise, otherwise boring and ignorant. Learn to improve your mental prowess by widening your scope of interest. Instead of focusing solely on fashion, facial and fortunes, develop a hobby, take up a sport, learn a new skill, cultivate an interest in current affairs and world news… watch yourself grow and glow.

 

Emotionally

 

　　Your job carries little relevance in husband hunting, so do not adopt your job title as your sole identity, have something else outside your work arena which also defines you. Being “busy” has no value, it’s being busy and constructive that brings enhancement. Try doing something kind or meaningful, perhaps rebuilding grandma’s kitchen shelf or whatever. Feeling gratified triggers a positive attitude, a fulfilled person is more understanding, supportive, and forgiving, and less inclined to be needy, clingy, or domineering. Feeling rewarded makes you a happier person, and happiness brings a host of positive attributes while shedding many negative ones.

 

Easier said than done? Just persevere:

 

　　I was feeling tired on my exercise bike and stopped. Then the Paralympic Games came on TV… Mortified, I finished my exercise program without further complaint…  J.K. Rowling was living on government subsidy when she wrote Harry Potter. Twelve publishers turned her down, and Bloomsbury, who finally bought her manuscript,  initially told her to “get a day job”….

 

　　As of 2012, Israel ranks 16th among 186 world nations on the UN’s Human Development Index, placing it in the category of "Very Highly Developed" countries . Because their economy is so technologically advanced! This is amazing because Israel has never ceased to be at war. They have been under enemy attacks since decades, so far 1700 missiles have been fired at them, albeit only 17 landed, the unrelenting fear, tension, anxiety must have been excruciating… and yet they still manage to find the time, tenacity , perseverance, composure and determination to build and grow a brilliant  economy which  completely puts the Americans and Europeans to shame !! That’s perseverance.

 

　　Yes, everything is possible. It only becomes impossible when you stop trying. So, whatever you do, please don’t give up.

 

 

 《經濟通》所刊的署名及／或不署名文章，相關內容屬作者個人意見，並不代表《經濟通》立場，《經濟通》所扮演的角色是提供一個自由言論平台。

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