有一天當我回到辦公室，看到一位女士哭哭啼啼，指責我們的婚姻顧問拒絕接收她的報名表格。這位女士想找一位「有趣」的男人，絕頂聰明、英俊不凡、身家豐厚和無條件地愛她。而她的愛好只是購物、睡覺和看電視而已。我認為，我們的婚姻顧問拒絕為她服務是無可厚非的，因為不論怎麼看，她自己都算不上是一個「有趣」的人。

 

　　不少單身女性會將「共同興趣」和「溝通」作為主要擇偶條件，但對不少男性來說，這些女性難有共同點和難以溝通！比如，沒有男人熱衷於購物，或能對Chanel手袋發表一番高談闊論，怎樣「溝通」？年輕而美絕全城的膚淺女人可能仍有機會找到很有錢的壞男人，這種婚姻卻另具意義。但如果你已不再年輕，又不是美絕全城，問問自己憑甚麼條件找到質素高及「有趣」的男人？

 

　　有不少事業成功型女性，自以為受過「高等教育」而態度囂張。實在她們擁有的不外是文憑或學位，足以找份好工吧，但不足以找個好男人。因為她們的知識只限於熟悉的範疇內，眼光狹窄，為人悶透，跟別人沒甚麼話題可談。就算她們外表姣好，男人多認為她們欠缺魅力，很悶，就像白紙般空洞，沒甚麼啟發性。

 

　　想做一個「有趣」的女人，首要培養一些興趣。而刻意做一些事討好別人，並不會令你成為真正有趣的人，反而會令你看來更愚笨！舉個例子，喜歡研究紅酒並無不妥，但不少人因為追趕潮流而報讀紅酒課程，而不是真正喜歡品酒。這些人上了幾堂課，死背幾個酒名，待文憑到手後，便裝作品酒專家，但言談中又將酒名讀錯、混淆釀酒地區，令人敬而遠之。

 

　　再如，在優美的環境下，打高爾夫球既能呼吸新鮮空氣，又可舒展身體，本是不錯的，但大多數人強迫自己打高球，並不是出於真心喜愛，而是認為高爾夫球是上流社會的專屬運動，打高球是追求一份認同感。事實上，大部分中國女性痛恨在陽光下暴曬，裝作喜愛打高球並不會令她們更「有趣」，只會令人覺得她們造作而已。

 

　　想做個有趣的人，先要對自己誠實。如果你喜歡品茗多於品酒，為何不多花些時間研究普洱或其他茶類呢？我們都是喝茶長大的，對茶有一定的熟悉程度，而茶類的歷史、類別、醫療藥用價值、泡茶技巧，都很令人著迷。當你將此興趣化作熱誠後，可以參加一些茶會和茶聚，甚至到中國各地和外國學習品茗…這些經歷和知識可令你更有趣。

 

　　如果你真心喜愛打高爾夫球，而且球技高超，當然沒問題，但如果你並不熱衷，為何要強迫自己在太陽下暴曬、裝作是高爾夫球愛好者呢？那倒不如做自己喜愛的事來得好，如針織、打乒乓球、擲飛碟都無所謂，只要是你真正的興趣便可。而真正令你感興趣的活動，會令你身心專注投入其中，燃點心中那團火，熱愛之情更會從眼神流露出來。

 

　　這才會讓你成為真正有趣的女人，令男人覺得你魅力非凡。

 

　　（按：中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本）

 

Be interested to be interesting

 

　　I walked into the office the other day and saw a lady crying. One of our Consultants had just turned her down and she was upset about our rejection. Apparently, she was looking for an “interesting” man, highly intelligent, handsome and rich and would love her unconditionally… yet her only hobbies included shopping, sleeping, watching TV and nothing else. Our Consultant’s decision not to accept her was absolutely correct. It would be too much of a challenge to make her sound “interesting”.

 

　　People who come to us consistently name “common interests” and “communication” as two most important conditions in finding a partner, yet they themselves offer little for anybody to be in “common”, or to “communicate” with! We don’t, for instance, have any men in our data base who is keenly interested in shopping, or capable of conducting any meaningful conversation about Chanel handbags. Young, devastatingly beautiful women may still find men, even sinfully rich men, when they are shallow or blank - albeit such marriages take on other connotations, but if you are neither young nor drop dead gorgeous, please do ask yourself what exactly have you got to offer?

 

　　Many successful women arrogantly consider themselves “highly educated” when in fact they only have certificates and degrees, which may be enough to find a job but ruefully insufficient to find a man. Their book knowledge is usually restricted only in their field of expertise, beyond which they remain ignorant and disinterested and have little else to talk about. Regardless how they look physically, men find them “unattractive” because they are dull and uninspiring, blank and boring. 

 

　　To be an “interesting” woman, one must first be interested. Doing something to “impress” people seldom makes you interesting; it may back fire and make you look rather silly. For instance, there is nothing wrong if you genuinely like wine, however many are rushing to take wine courses not because they LOVE wine, but because that’s a fashionable thing to do. A couple of courses later, armed with yet another “certificate” and having memorized a few names, they begin to act like  connoisseurs - oblivious to people flinching around them as they grotesquely  mispronounce names or mix up geographical locations…

 

　　Golf would be another example. Whilst it is a good game offering fresh air and exercise in a beautiful environment, many are forcing themselves to golf not because they LOVE the game, but because it is an arrogant sport for the “upper crust” where they dearly wish to be identified. The truth is, most Chinese women abhor too much sun, faking an affinity to golf therefore doesn’t make you interesting, it makes you pretentious.

 

　　The key to become genuinely interesting is to be honest. If you actually prefer tea to wine, why not take time to study Pu Erh ? We all grow up with tea at home, we can relate to this drink at any level. No doubt, the history, classification, medicinal value, brewing skills will be fascinating…As and when interests develop into passion, you might start joining Tea Clubs and “Tea Excursions” to different parts of China and the world to identify and taste different kinds of tea. Your expertise in this subject would make you very interesting.

 

　　If you truly love golf, terrific, have a wonderful game. That’s fine. But if you aren’t really that keen, why drag yourself out in the sun, and pretend to be someone you are not? Think of something else you’d rather do – Anything at all. Knitting ? Ping Pong? Frisbee? it doesn’t matter what, as long as your interest is genuine, it will elicit devotion from your soul, ignite passion in your heart and spark in your eyes.

 

　　And that will make you an interesting woman, very attractive to most men.

 

 

 《經濟通》所刊的署名及／或不署名文章，相關內容屬作者個人意見，並不代表《經濟通》立場，《經濟通》所扮演的角色是提供一個自由言論平台。

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