CK是一個成熟穩重的男士，收入穩定，在一所大學教書多年。Wolfgang是一間直升機公司的老闆，而Jason是一個擁有博士學位的水電工程師。別人問我為甚麼介紹他們給Florence認識，我說：「因為這幾位男士性格溫厚、有正確的價值觀、為人真誠、對家庭負責，這些都是好老公應有的條件。」

 

　　而Florence一一拒絕他們，因為：「他們不是我想要的男人！」

 

　　我問她到底想要甚麼樣的男人，她說想找個具吸引力、風趣幽默、可以令她有熱戀的感覺的人……在《盛女愛作戰》中，她一直堅持自己有權追逐自己的夢想，她這樣做有錯嗎？

 

　　我認為一個人最基本的處世之道是言行舉止與年齡相符。例如一個80歲的爺爺用10分鐘行一段樓梯，我們會讚他了不起，但一個18歲的年輕人用10分鐘才行完，我們會問他為甚麼這麼久？

 

　　16歲時，你會看愛情故事，會對「白馬王子」式的愛情幻想，覺得很浪漫。但年過40，更年期已離你不遠，如果再對「白馬王子」式的浪漫愛情有幻想，就是天真和不切實際。時間不等人，假若想組建一個美好家庭，一定要理智和實際一點，對自己的所作所為負責。

 

迷戀與真愛

 

　　如果有一位穿Armani西裝、駕Maserati跑車、有型又風趣幽默的男人令你有觸電的感覺，那純粹是迷戀，不是真愛，因為你一點都不了解這個人，又怎能愛他呢？這些型男當然是一個好男友的條件，既有新鮮感，又可滿足女人的虛榮感，假若某天他俊朗的外表和風趣幽默的性格消失了，你還可得到甚麼？

 

　　真愛是建立在友誼、信任和對彼此的尊重上，要用心經營，要用時間努力維繫，才能開花結果。在香港，所有新僱員都有3個月試用期，令我困惑的是， Florence這類女性，為何只望了對方一眼，便說無feel，斷定那個人不適合自己？

 

　　盛女們，當妳們找尋另一半之前，先問問自己：是想找可給你迷戀感覺的男友，還是有真愛、可付託終生的老公？

 

　　（按：中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本）

 

Following One’s Dream…?

 

　　CK has been teaching at the same university since many years, a stable man with a stable job. Wolfgang is the owner of a helicopter company, & Jason is a Ph.D hydro engineer. When asked why I choose them for Florence? I explained: ''They are good natured fellows with all the right core values; genuine & responsible family type, what I would consider good husband material.''

 

　　Florence rejected them all because ''… that is not what I want!''  So what does she want then? She said she prefers someone who is more attractive, charming & witty, someone who can ignite her flame, sweep her off her feet, and give her that fuzzy warm feeling inside…For weeks she adamantly insists she has the right to pursue her dream!  Is she wrong? 

 

　　Yes, I think she is.

 

　　The fundamental rule of being a successful human being is to be age-appropriate with our word and deed. When 80 year old grandpa climbs up a flight of stairs in 10 minutes, we say he is doing well. When an 18 years old boy does that, we ask ''what took you so long?" When a 2 year old mispronounces words repeatedly, we say she is cute & we laugh. When a 20 year old does that, it’s called speech impediment.

 

　　When we are sixteen, we have our whole lives ahead of us, we read love stories, we giggle about boys, we fantasize about 「prince charming」, it’s so romantic, and yes, we follow our dreams…

 

　　When we are forty, we have menopause ahead of us, what was once sweet & romantic now becomes naive and unrealistic. What was once "pursuing a dream" now becomes "chasing rainbows."  Time is no longer on our side, if we still want to build a family, we have to be sensible, pragmatic and act responsibly.

 

There is infatuation and there is love.

 

　　If that witty, gorgeous hunk in the Armani suit driving a Maserati is sending electrical current throughout your entire body and melting every organ you think you have, that is infatuation in the purest form. It cannot be "true love" because you don’t know enough about him to love! This is "boyfriend material", because he satisfies our vanity, sense of adventure…and our passion. But being charming, witty, handsome are all perishable ingredients. If that’s all he’s got, what happens when the frenzy subsides?

 

　　True love is a sentiment one needs to cultivate, best on the foundation of friendship, trust and respect. Until this relationship blossoms requires the nurturing of time and effort. Any new employee in HK is entitled to 3 months’ probation, so I am baffled how people like Florence can reject someone instantaneously, based on "one look" and her intuitive judgment of having "no chemistry", "no feel"… "no electrical current "!

 

　　Ladies, if you are looking for a man in your life, ask yourself first whether you are seeking infatuation from a "boyfriend" or true love from a "husband" and then act accordingly.

 

 

 《經濟通》所刊的署名及／或不署名文章，相關內容屬作者個人意見，並不代表《經濟通》立場，《經濟通》所扮演的角色是提供一個自由言論平台。

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