美滿關係

 　　新年快樂！我祝願經濟通的讀者們在新一年事事如意、健康快樂，亦祝大家擁有美滿的關係！

　　人際關係講求的是兩個人的交往，可以是男人跟女人，家人跟朋友，父母跟子女，學生跟老師，老闆跟員工，商戶跟顧客，政府跟市民，甚至可以是男人與狗，又或是精神層面上，與神的關係。

　　關係會影響我們？對，是大大的影響。如果我們能跟上司及同事們保持良好的關係，上班時會有更多的樂趣，關係不好，情況便完全相反。好的關係令我們變得開朗，更會包容及寬恕別人，有更好的表現。相反地，強差人意的關係會令我們心情低落，影響我們的表現、情緒等，禍連甚深。關係雖然對我們如此重要，奇怪的是大部分人不願意花時間、心神來好好經營它。我們身處的世界是否已不利於建立關係？還是，我們一點都不在乎？

　　追溯往昔，為我們的日常生活提供服務的人是陳小姐或黃叔叔……到了今天，接通電話後，我們先聽一段音樂，再按3，後4，緊接5，再加星號……在絕望的情況下，或有人接聽，不過她人在深圳，說不到一口流利的廣東話，你的忙她幫不了。以前，「客戶服務」解作與客人相處，了解他們的需要，接納投訴，繼而改善服務，教客人稱心。今天，服務已易名為「客戶關係管理」，這門管理學是以科技來組織、自動化及同步化銷售、市場、客戶服務及技術支援上的工作。客戶關係管理為解決問題而配備眾多的方案與工具，並會依據組織上的需求來提供相應產品。

　　人際關係學包括了社會學、心理學、人類學及社會工作，它於90年代興起，並成為了一門「關係科學」。根據馬斯洛提出的需求層次理論，人類是天生會交際的，並隨著經驗日漸累積，塑造出個性。在發展自我的過程中，人類需要持續地感到被愛與接納。關係猶如生命體，有始，有終，有壽命之限。每段關係會經歷由以下不同的階段組合而成的變遷。

1.認識：接觸初期，逐步認識

2.友誼：關係日漸成熟，展現出信任與關懷

3.關係：對彼此有更深的感覺及會為對方許下承諾

4.惡化：因忽視、厭倦、痛恨對方而形成的感覺

5.決裂：結束關係

　　賞罰非常分明。假如你珍惜、用心栽培這段的關係，它便能維持在首三階段；如果你漠視或破壞這段關係，它自然落入最後兩段的破局。一個被幸褔的家庭及關懷備至的朋友包圍的人，遠較一個沒有朋友只會怨恨家人及同事的人快樂。

　　建立關係就由向50個朋友發出新年祝福的短訊開始。對，只有搜索一下記憶，你會發現你有這麼多的朋友。不要發whatapp短訊給那些很久沒有聊天的朋友，直接打電話給他們。原諒那些你曾經怨恨的人，跟樓下的保安問句好，重新發掘說話的藝術。人們會接近你只因你夠平易近人，人們會喜歡你只因你懂得愛惜自己。

　　這個練習很簡單。別盯著你的電話，抬起你的頭來，學習跟別人有視線的接觸，接著微笑吧。

　　（按：中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本）

  Happy Relationships !

  Happy New Year ! May I wish ETNET readers all the best in 2015 -   Health, happiness, success and … above all, Happy Relationships !

  An interpersonal relationship is the rapport between two entities  – be it between men and women, families & friends, parents & children, students & teachers, employers & employees, businesses & customers , the government and the people, countries and nations … may be even a man and his dog…or, at a spiritual level, with deities….

  How do relationships affect us? Oh, tremendously. If we get along well with superiors and colleagues, it’s a lot of fun going to work. Vice versa for the contrary.  Blessed by good relationships, we are cheerful, more tolerant and forgiving, and we perform better. Conversely, poor relationships make us grouchy, affect our performances, emotional stability and everything else. Given how important relationships are to our lives, it is strange that many people do not spend the time and effort to do a better job. Is our world no longer conducive to building relationships? or we  just couldn’t care less?

  Growing up, service providers in our daily lives used to be a Mrs. Chen here or an Uncle Wong there… Today, we listen to music, then at the tone press 3, then 4, then 5… then star…In desperate situations, a human may actually answer the phone, only she sits in Shenzhen, her Cantonese is not quite fluent, and she can’t help you after all. “Customer Relationship” used to mean sitting down with a client to understand her needs, address her complaints and try to improve services to her satisfaction. Today, it’s called CRM, it involves using technology to organize, automate and synchronize sales, marketing, customer service and technical support. CRM Solutions come with many features and tools, and one chooses a product based on one’s organizational needs. 

  The study of interpersonal relationships involves sociology, psychology, anthropology and social work, it evolved in the 90’s and became “relationship science”. According to Maslow’s hierachy of needs, human beings are innately social and these accumulative experiences shape our personalities. Humans need to feel love and acceptance on a continuous basis, upon which we develop a sense of self.  Like living organisms, relationships have a beginning, a lifespan and an end. The mutation of each relationship can go through a combination of any of the following stages:

1.Acquaintanceship – the early stage of forming an acquaintance

2.Friendship – maturing to show trust and care

3.Relationship – deeper feelings and mutual commitment

4.Deterioration -  caused by neglect, boredom, resentment…

5.Termination – the demise of a relationship

  The reward and penalty system is very clear. If we treasure and nurture our relationships, we keep them within the first three stages. If we neglect or abuse them, they fall into the last two. A person surrounded by loving families and caring friends is far happier in life than the one who hates his families, colleagues and has no friend.

  Start by sending your New Year greetings to 50 friends. Yes you have, you only have to  look them up in your memory bank. Instead of  whatsapping, call  someone you have not spoken to for a long time… Forgive someone you were angry with…Say hello to the guard downstairs… try discovering the art of talking again…People will only approach you if you are approachable, and people will only like you if you like yourself… 

  It’s an easy exercise, you can begin by lifting your head up from your cell phone,  learn to establish eye contact, and then smile.